I can feel the shaking,
The headaches,
The itchy eyes
And foggy mind.
Climbing out of bed,
Feet hurting,
Losing my balance.
I hate waking up:
The fake feeling,
The dreamlike buzz
Still lingering in my vision.
I hate wobbling,
Breaking through the grogginess,
Feeling dizzy
Just from being conscious.
I hate having no energy,
And not even being hungry.
Obligations to fulfill,
Time to kill.
It seems I have nothing to do,
But everything to accomplish.
No one to talk to,
But everyone to listen to.
Time on my hands,
But it slips through my fingers
Like a dream you can't remember.
I hate trying to find peace,
Laughter, normalcy.
I dread those surreal moments,
When I'm not sure that I'm true,
Uncertain that this is life.
I don't know where,
Or how, or who I am.
I despise the confusion of morning.
I hate waking up.
But I hate dreaming even more.
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