A Time to Be

There's a time to be silly,
And a time to be serious-
And I love the way he draws the line.
I like the way he thinks,
And he makes me think too.
I love the way he talks,
But not as much as the way
He always follows through.
I really love honesty,
And he puts things plain.
I love what he wants for me,
What he wants for us.
There's a time to be bold
And a time to be afraid.
He fixes things,
He fixes me,
And he hates having to go.
He works, he plays,
And he encourages me,
Compliments me,
In the most surprising ways.
I surprise him too,
And I love that I can.
He likes that I write,
He loves that I sing,
And wants me to continue both.
We have problems from the past
But push them behind us.
There's a time to be focused
And a time to be in control.
He wants to run with me,
Talk with me, fight with me.
He wants to teach me,
Learn from me, explore with me.
He talks about building
And I talk about trust,
But we've got time for both.
He likes my pet
And I like his.
I accept him,
And he accepts me.

Another Round

If I had another day
I'd spend it with you anyway.
If I had another life
I'd still want you in it.
Old love moves on,
Even when nothing new comes along.
Days keep breathing
And the tide rushes out.
The cold waves drown my feet,
My jeans are wet,
But I don't care.
I love the push and tug,
I love the pull and drag.
Sand in my flip flops,
Sand in my car.
The sun falling down,
The wind picking up.
A day, a night, another round.

Start a New Day

So I kinda feel like you
Betrayed me, okay?
And you wouldn't be wrong
To say that I betrayed you, too.
And I'm so, so sorry.
If I have to go my entire life
Without seeing or speaking
To you again, I will do it
To keep this from ever happening again.
But I was alone and afraid,
And you weren't there for me.
You turned your back as if
I was the enemy.
And that still hurts.
So I'm sorry for having
Such a hard time of forgiving you.
And I hope that one day you'll forgive me, too.
But I don't think I'm ready yet.
I'm not perfect.
My life is not perfect-
I would never expect it to be.
But let me fix a few things.
Let me grow some more.
Give me my time,
Though it seems like too much,
But please, please do,
Because I want to try again one day.
One day when we can all
Just put this behind us,
Because I am tired of going
Back through all the details
And each one thinking themselves
Exactly right,
Not willing to look at it another way.
It hardly matters anymore.
It happened and it's done,
And I'm so tired of talking about it.
So one day I want to start again.
I want to start a friendship.
I want to start a new day.

Don't Go

I jumped a fence at midnight
Again at three a.m.
We shiver as we speak
But don't want to go in.
My toes went numb,
My heart swelled,
The tears came,
My breath held.
When the only words
You can think to say
Are "Don't go"
But he can't stay-
When all the things
You wanted to hear,
Even the ones you
Just slightly fear-
When you beg him,
And a promise he gives,
When you wish it was closer,
The place where he lives.
He's traveling now,
But I'm stuck still
He moves forward,
Big shoes to fill.
And I sit here empty,
Can't figure this out
What should I do?
I'm so full of doubt.
I give my trust,
But still wait and see-
I believe every word
Because I want it to be.
I know that he's different,
Like no one before,
I've given so much
But I want to give more.
Yet to leave, to change,
Is so hard to do:
To repeat my past,
Or to start anew?
Shall I stay stuck,
Sink lower still,
Can I even ask,
Ignore my strong will?
Wait, as always,
And hope things improve-
Cowardly, perhaps,
But there's nothing to lose.

Bold

There's a light in the night sky
Like a torch in the air
There's a flutter in my chest
Like I really, really care.
I feel them on my lips
Like a yet ungiven kiss
And I still won't say
But, babe, tell me this-
Crazy, are you? As am I
But tell me your every thought
Let me know what you feel
Tell me cold or hot
Day in and out,
Through this month cold,
Each day is you
Bled and bold
I overthink so much
But regrets I haven't a one
More and more I like my days
The laughter and the fun
Each day I learn things new
And less in sun I sleep
I bare with ease the time between
Even though it seems to creep.

Envy

I envy you-
That you can fall apart,
That you can drink yourself stupid.
I envy you,
That you never have to,
That your days are yours.
I envy you,
That you can stay or go,
That you can hide,
That you can sleep and drink and not care,
Not a care in the world.
I envy you,
That you can spend your time in a haze,
And never need to focus.
I envy you,
That you can float and blink,
That you can breathe.
I envy you,
Your confidence,
Your everything.
I envy you,
That you don't need anything,
That you don't need...
Me.

Afraid, I Am

You can't know how afraid I am:
Afraid of losing you,
Afraid of losing home,
Of losing this.
You can't know how much I think:
About leaving,
About loving,
About liars and losers.
I can't ask, and you haven't.
And you don't know how that scares me.
What do I expect?
For you to just come out and say it?
I could never expect that of you.
Not now. Not so soon.
I'm only driving myself crazy again,
Over problems that aren't real,
And the few that are.
But what is to be done?
What is it that I want?
Whose acceptance do I crave?
I am afraid.
To be honest, I'm afraid of you.
I'm afraid of us.
I don't know what I want-
Do I ever?!

For the Count

I'm having trouble fighting
My punches barely swing
My lip is swollen, bloody,
My eye's a dark blue ring.
It kicks me to the ground
The asphalt scrapes my skin
My lungs are torn, empty,
And so I count to ten:
Ein, zwei, drei, vier,
To my feet I get-
Funf, sechs, sieben, acht,
Time to settle debts.
Nein, zehn, dodge again
Duck, tuck, roll
Time to strike out
Time to be bold.
Throw out a fist,
An elbow, a kick
Stop being afraid,
It's your fight to pick.
Don't let them keep you
Still, back, or down
Don't let them see you
Cry, fall, or drown.