14 January, 2014

Afraid, I Am

You can't know how afraid I am:
Afraid of losing you,
Afraid of losing home,
Of losing this.
You can't know how much I think:
About leaving,
About loving,
About liars and losers.
I can't ask, and you haven't.
And you don't know how that scares me.
What do I expect?
For you to just come out and say it?
I could never expect that of you.
Not now. Not so soon.
I'm only driving myself crazy again,
Over problems that aren't real,
And the few that are.
But what is to be done?
What is it that I want?
Whose acceptance do I crave?
I am afraid.
To be honest, I'm afraid of you.
I'm afraid of us.
I don't know what I want-
Do I ever?!