Don't Go

I jumped a fence at midnight
Again at three a.m.
We shiver as we speak
But don't want to go in.
My toes went numb,
My heart swelled,
The tears came,
My breath held.
When the only words
You can think to say
Are "Don't go"
But he can't stay-
When all the things
You wanted to hear,
Even the ones you
Just slightly fear-
When you beg him,
And a promise he gives,
When you wish it was closer,
The place where he lives.
He's traveling now,
But I'm stuck still
He moves forward,
Big shoes to fill.
And I sit here empty,
Can't figure this out
What should I do?
I'm so full of doubt.
I give my trust,
But still wait and see-
I believe every word
Because I want it to be.
I know that he's different,
Like no one before,
I've given so much
But I want to give more.
Yet to leave, to change,
Is so hard to do:
To repeat my past,
Or to start anew?
Shall I stay stuck,
Sink lower still,
Can I even ask,
Ignore my strong will?
Wait, as always,
And hope things improve-
Cowardly, perhaps,
But there's nothing to lose.