Unnatural

The worst part is
That I don't know-
Which one has me jealous?
One journey is
Just beginning, but
Will it be a short one?
And the other has
Been my path for some
Time. Years, I believe.
So long that I don't
Know, really, when it
First began. For so
Long I have traveled,
Have gone in circles
About myself, only
To arrive at the
Same place again
And again. And see!
Even now, it takes
Only two words,
And up I jump,
At every beck and
Call, in every cheesy
Way. A small question
Leaves me breathless-
I'm so hopeless!
I'm gone!
But at the same time...

I'm so desperate
To begin again,
To move forward
Rather than trudge
This soulless loop
For all eternity.
My only option is to
Try. And I am.
Sort of.
But I can't tell
How hard I should
Hold on, and how
Much I need to
Let go. Still, I
Give the effort.
I hate that the
Old things still
Chase me, things
That keep digging
Back out of the ground,
Skeletons in the closet
That somehow find
Their way out.
I want a new closet!
New things to put
In it! Can't I
Have a reprieve?
I'd like to be
Above this time!
I hate this "permission"
That perhaps my head
Has only created.
So many times
The wounds have
Been reopened-
They bleed again now,
When I thought they
Had healed for good.
Since when did I
Start wanting something
Normal? A relationship
Most of all. It seems
That all of mine are...
Unnatural.

The Catch

This halo of a haven,
This bed that is all mine.
I share only when I wish
And when I do,
How heavenly it's been.
This aura of clovers
With an extra kick of something-
What is it? Lily pads?
It could be no other.
That sweet intoxication,
The mere presence of one,
This angelic little smile
That only shows in sleep-
Pure blissful calm,
Passing over me, too.
So for a night, I have it all.
These strings remain empty
For this sleep time,
And the sugar plums in my
Head twirl and twirl,

Without a care in their hearts.
I look up to see
This underwater canopy
And I drift into the most
Resting sleep that I can
Even remember...
So that it almost makes me
Cry to wake up, to know
That this night can't last
Nearly long enough.
I want it again.
I crave the company.
That night will live on
In my heart until my
Dying day- I will cherish
It every moment.
Hanging over my head
Is only a dream catcher-
No other nagging notions
To mar this lovely night.
Nothing is being thrown-
For now, I have escaped
The Catch.

Karen Blue

Save it for another day
This unlucky Karen Blue
Keep it to a single bud
This oppressing little hue.
Leave it out in the rain
Don't bring it back inside-
Let it grow in its place,
It's for nature to decide.
Sing it in a melody,
But now it's nothing more
Lock it in this box again
-Hiding shouldn't be a chore.
Plant yourself a garden
Some flowers, just a few
Overrun the bonnet,
This bleeding Karen Blue.
Roses, poppies, tiger lilies,
Surround this forest place.

Restore this torched circle
With a ring of growing grace.
This one is the hardest-
The final little clue.
Fight it with the others,
This relentless Karen Blue.
Uncover this bed of blossoms,
Put each petal away
Sleep in rainbow dreamland-
Let the colors disarray.
Smother desperate hunger,
Lose sight of that sensation.
Blend away this shade,
Avoid your own damnation.
Begin today all over-
It's not too late to start anew
Shake off all your sadness,
Evade this Karen Blue.

Kendahl Green

Take a look, tell-
What do you see?
Spin around: the
World is green!
Have a heart, and
Have some fun.
Break your streak,
Jump the gun.
Party for one, please-
Loud music with groove,
Now you can dance,
Let your day improve.
Live it when you breathe,
Feel it when you dream.
Shake off wasted time-
Sew back every seam.
See the right colors,
Take a stroll outside.
Block out the theme,
Forget your precious pride.
How's this for muchness?

"We're all mad here."
Cross all the lines,
Leave behind your fear.
Here is all your music-
Now is all you've got.
Pick out the clover
In every inkblot.
Feel the rumbling,
Revel in the rain.
Celebrate the clouds,
Feel it in each vein.
Run as it pours,
And let it all grow.
It's time for Kendahl Green,
Let the daring show.