05 October, 2012

Just How Much

What do you say?
How can you be there
And gone all at once?
How do you show someone
That you care, without
Reminding them of
Just how much?
How can you bear your soul
Yet still keep it hidden?
To a person who has everything,
How would you offer empty hands?
It's obvious that I've
Held back- how can I not?
It makes me sick!
I hate not showing!
And I ask myself how much
Worse it could be.
I'm far too afraid to find out,
And I couldn't do that anyway.
They have made sure I know that.
I wear my mask,
I hide in my garden,
And I wish to dance in this music
That surrounds my sanctuary.
The tree towers over me,
And a solemn harvest moon
Peeks at me through its limbs.
I cower in a shadow,
For that is all I am-
A shadow of myself,
From me, but not me.
What do you say,
When you look into those eyes
And see everything;
Everything you can't have.
I can't rid myself of these
Dreams that won't be caught,
Because, although they torment
Me, they can never be called
Nightmares. Those, I can handle,
But this dream simply won't
Let me be!