25 September, 2012

Fish

Where to even begin?
In this vast ocean
Filled with life
I seek and have
Yet to find.
Somehow, every
Way that I turn
Seems to be the
Wrong direction-
I see these fish-
Of many different
Colors, of every
Kind and shape.
None of them are
Wrong; it's just
That none of them
Are right.
This one doesn't
Get me, that one
Can't make me laugh.
The blue ones are
Too fast for me-
The yellow ones
Can't keep up.
There are far too
Many for one single
Fish, to find that
One single other.
They dart around me
And laugh
And taunt me with
Their normalcy.
This enormous
Multitude of fish-
This overabundance of
Options, of choices and
Pathways- has become
So utterly overwhelming.
I have no eyelids!
I can't keep
My eyes shielded
Even though I wish to!
They are everywhere
I swivel myself.
I can pivot left
And dive so low,
But never may I escape
This forever-deep
School that occupies
An entire ocean.
I feel that I am
Nothing at all-
An extra pile of
Scales that merely
Drifts along in the
Waves, neither
Caring nor trying.
I spin in circles
In the wake from
Their efforts.
But I feel nothing!
They can't touch me.
But I can't free
Myself from them!
Why can't they just
Let me be?
Are they playing
Hide-and-seek, too?
But I don't want
To be "It!"
I don't even want
To play, ever again.
I just want to swim
Alone and in peace,
For as long as they
Would let me.