07 September, 2012

Shaken

So, really-
Now I can't tell
What it is that bothers
Me; Do I even care?
I didn't think so,
But sometimes another
Person can ask you
A question, and it makes
You ask yourself.
It can be a good
Thing- in some cases,
You may not so much
Ask yourself the
Question, as ask
Why they would
Even need to ask.
Of course, sometimes
You already know why.
But when I question
Myself, either I am
Doubting myself, or
I am rediscovering
Myself. Today, this
Made me doubt myself.
Made me doubt my progress.
It shook me.
I keep questioning it;
What am I really thinking?
Am I past this, or
Only disguising the truth?
Does one lead to the other?
Gahh... Do I care?
Does it bother me?
Tug-o'-war in my mind:
On one side, I hate it!
But all at once, I
Don't even care.
Either way, it matters-
It's just not my decision
To make. Then why
Do I, every so often,
Feel the inexplicable
Urge to scream at
How stupid it is!

But, really, is it?
Maybe, but who am I
To decide? I bite
My tongue again and
Again- what can I say?
What should I do?
Call the bluff,
Wait it out?
Or leave it be-
Let it shake things up?
Let the snow swirl
Around the glass a
Moment, before waiting
For it to drift lazily
Back downward?