Missing

Random surge:
What was that?
Shivering veins
Pounding thoughts
Tonight might not
Be such a good idea-
Or maybe none is.
Don't! Some are!
How is it too
Warm in here?
Anger spike-
But is it her or me?
Oh no, not tears!-
Not that burn!
For now everything
Is me- and
Everything is wrong.
Control freak?
It all bothers me,
More than it should.
I think.
Little pet peeves
That whisper to me
Every other moment.
Difference in opinion
And so much else-
A different state of
Mind and self.
Missing and Missing,
Unequal and
Compromised.
Shifting perspective
But it doesn't help.
I'm not sure what
I miss- recently
I'm missing everything.
Mostly myself.
And sharing.
I miss sharing
Most of all...
How ironic is that?
Hypocrite!
The worst of all!
The most angering,
Irritating, loss
Of control of
Qualities, if
You could call it that.
I hate it so much!
It makes me hate
People! Ye be
Warned, all ages:
I can't even
Tolerate hypocrites.
Get it together!
My life is all in
Pieces, as is
Everything I own:
A little here,
Some there.
Can't I get it all
Under a single roof?
What is so broken,
So missing,
In me that I can
Hardly function?